Lazy Daze
by HellKing666
Summary: I am proud to say that I have done everything in life either with half the effort or half completed, I didn't care that I was in Class-E-As-In-End, I didn't care that I was the target of every long nosed twerp from the higher classes, and I certainly don't care about some cash prize, all I want to do is sleep through it all, but this damn Takoyaki won't leave well enough alone...
1. Prologue: Another Boring Year?

**A/N: This story will have very slow updates, just to warn you, and also, this is my attempt to jumpstart the Assassination Classroom category, you don't know about it? Look it up, its amazing.**

**Another Boring Year?**

…

It's boring you know, school, and a thousand others would agree with the assessment, yet those people are idiots, who never truly know what it means to be in a boring school.

It was the same for me, I thought the only things boring were study and trying to not fall asleep during a summer lecture, how I miss kindergarten…

Those nap times made the time there so quick.

Same shit, different day, school, and classroom.

I cast a bleary eye across the collection of students who sit in the same classroom as me, all of them either too troublesome, or dumb to be any higher, why do I think of them so?

Because I am currently seated inside something that can pass as a wooden shack, maybe an outhouse, with the fancy name of Class-E, more commonly referred to as Class-End, the place where they had fallen below average and will never get up.

You probably are wondering why I have any right to talk, being with the sorry bunch.

Simple, I didn't care where I was, so who cares about 'right'?

My arms, forever cradling my head on the my splinter filled desk, was a common sight for people who met me, I was known as the 'Lazy Ditz', or 'Lazy Bastard', whichever is preferred at the time, and you know what?

I don't really care.

When I was still in the higher classes, they always bitched at me, 'pay attention', 'don't fall asleep', 'Finish this test or I'll…' etc. etc.

It was constant complaint, after complaint, after complaint, and kept it up until the last one in Class-D-As-In-Dicks.

I was then sent to Class-E, an old shanty that held the entire class, and was at least a mile hike from the actual school itself, Kunugigaoka. I don't really mind it all to be honest.

Everyone here will whine about being the bottom rung of the ladder, having fallen from grace because of a slip-up, and either fight for advancing back to the upper classes (which is impossible) or accept it with reluctant depression.

Not me, the way I saw it, the Class-E-As-In-End was the better of all of them.

It was the same as every day before when I got up from bed that morning, I would wake at a measured pace, peacefully walling up to the Classroom up on the mountain, the woodlands fill either side with no hustle and bustle from city goers, and then, when I have reached my destination. I could laze into my comfortable chair, and sleep the rest of the day away, with no nosy teachers trying to wake me up, as the one we currently were taught by and given up all hope for us, so we could do what we want.

And when the school day is finished, I would get up, have an easier walk back home downhill, where I would fall into my unmade bed and wait till the morning.

It was paradise.

"Hey Anderson-San, Psssst!"

Except for those short interruptions that remind me nothing comes without a price.

I opened up my right eye to look at my neighbour from the desk in front of me, sat there was Kirara Hazama, or Hazama Kirara if you do it the Japanese way, we were on cordial terms, but she knew enough about me to know that I didn't like getting woken up unless it was REALLY important.

"_Whu is it…"_ I asked the messy haired girl with a half asleep voice, her answer was to scrunch up her eyebrows in confusion. I then remembered that I had spoken in English by accident, yet again. I cleared my throat and asked again in the right language.

"What is it?"

"Geez, you forgot again? How many times do you have to do this before you realize you're on Japan?"

"With my luck, on the plane back to Scotland"

Yes, I got a lot of popularity for being a foreigner and far away transfer student, but that quickly tanked once I fell to Class-E, when you're this low, you could be a talking teddy bear and no one would give a fuck.

"Ehhh, at least look like you aren't about to fall asleep again when you're talking to me"

What is with Japanese people and that weird 'Ehhh' sound, it breaks peoples concentration to the conversation, not that I had any in the first place…

"I can't help it; my droopy eyes are my charm point"

"More like a curse point"

Ahhh, you've got to love Hazama and her witty comments.

"Is there any other reason why you're bothering me?"

"Well, I wanted to know what you think is going on with the Moon and stuff"

…

"The Moon?" I asked with disbelief, "I don't know, someone send a turkey fired chicken up there, I don't keep up with space things"

It was her turn to look in disbelief, before she sighed and face-palmed.

"Please don't tell me you are such an oblivious idiot that you haven't noticed what happened to the Moon"

Several seconds passed.

"Well?"

"Sorry, you asked me not to tell you"

"Urrrrrg, look at the sky!"

I cast my gaze towards the window… that would involve walking…

"Just do it" Hazama told me, as if reading my mind.

With a tired groan, I lifted myself off my seat, my array of necklaces ringing against each other as I walked towards the destination, then I tilted my head.

…

Well… that was new.

"I can't believe you didn't know the freaking Moon blew up!" Hazama near shouted at me, "I mean seriously, don't you ever look up!?"

"When night comes, it's usually the time people close their eyes"

"This freaking thing is visible during the day you idiot!"

"It's a matter of perspective"

"What? You couldn't see anything since your eyelids are glued to the top of your eyeballs?"

This was a much longer conversation than I hoped it wouldn't be, at least it will be over soon.

"Hehe, you really are a 'Lazy Bastard' aren't you?"

Oh perfect, he just had to join didn't he.

I looked to the right of me, there sat the bully, thug and general tough guy of Class-E, Ryōma Terasaka, I gave the guy his space and he gives me mine, however, I think he enjoys keeping me up as it irritates me.

Coupled with that sadistic Karma on the left… there we times where I wished we could switch our seats.

"Hey, where do you think Sensei is? Its nearly time for homeroom" Hazama asked as she looked to the front of the classroom.

"Use your imagination; he's probably got a hangover from the binge drinking of being a dead end teacher" I huffed, it had happened several times before; we could go home if that were the case.

"Nah, someone would have called ahead and got us a substitute"

Oh perfect, that means I'm going to have my day ruined by Sensei-Dick of Class-D, he hates us, we hate him. It's almost like a force of nature.

Ryōma commented, "Whatever, either way it's going to be a long day. Hey Anderson, want to ditch?"

That's actually very tempting…

"Don't even try it, remember what the Sensei said, if he doesn't mark you as present even once, he has permission to call your parents"

Gulp… I hate it when people think ahead. Hazama knows only a little about me, but what is common knowledge is that my mother is REALLY scary when things like that come up, she's convinced I'm going to become a shut-in unless I come here every day.

"Sorry Terasaka, I'm going to have to decline"

He grunted in humour, I'm sure he asked that question so that my face would pale.

The door at the front of the classroom then slid open, and one man and one woman with black uniforms stepped in, okay, that was new. What was particularly worrying is that one was pointing a handgun at something outside the door.

Then two more people came in, the first was like the other two, with dark spiky hair and a tough face with a permanent frown to match, and the other was…

…that was new.

"Good morning Class-E" the… something said, "It is nice to meet you all, and I'm the one who blew up the Moon-

Well that's a bombshell and a half.

-and I plan to blow up the Earth next year,"

Couldn't you blow up something less important, like the Sun? I wouldn't mind eternal night.

"Seeing as I have become your new homeroom teacher, I hope that we get along"

… Okay, I don't know anymore.

Let me explain this better, them 'he'? I suppose from his voice, was an eight foot tall thing, he wore some kind of coat that looked like it was a school uniform, I suppose he thought it was funny to have a short tie with a crescent moon on it. Perched on his chrome dome head, was the kind of hat seen at graduation, and by chrome dome, I meant literal.

His head was the size and shape of a beach ball, yellow skin (I'm not exaggerating, yellow) and a big stupid grin along with two dots for eyes, which made it seem he drew them on.

And the last thing to mention is his limbs, which were a multitude of tentacles that protruded from his sleeves and the bottom of his uniform, all of they were twirling in the air, showing that they didn't have any joints to speak of.

I didn't have to look to know that everyone was thinking the same thing.

**WTF**

I then broke the silence.

"I'm going back to sleep, wake me up when things start making sense" I then curled up and closed my eyes.

It hardly lasted ten seconds before Terasaka shouted beside me.

"You're seriously going to sleep through this?!"

"I'll have any alcohol you have stashed if that's an option"

"What kind of guy do you think I am!?"

A very noisy one, who isn't giving me some sake, my thought process was stopped as I heard someone clear their throat.

"Now if you would all pay attention, I will explain everything"

… Damn my curiosity.

I tilted my head back up, but didn't raise it from the table; the scary guy took that as a sign to continue.

"I am Karasuma from the Ministry of Defence"

I perked up at that.

"So you know Bert Anderson?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes… how do you know that name?"

"He's my uncle"

Everyone in the class looked at me, I'm not sure if the walking octopus was but his head was in the general direction.

"Is your life a freaking manga or something?" Hazama muttered in front of me, I shrugged and motioned to Karasuma to continue.

"Anyway," he said with a slight sweat drop, "first of all I would like you to understand that what I'm about to say is classified government information"

"Cutting straight to the point, I want you to kill this monster"

It was so blunt and straight forward, I thought he was joking.

Except me and a few others, everyone adopted a bug eyes expression.

Mimura from the second row spoke up.

"So… that guy is an alien who came to attack us?"

At this, the monsters face turned bright red, and I was sure I saw steam coming from his head.

"How rude!" You're the one who blew up the freaking Moon, "I was born and raised on earth too you know!" from where, The Pacific Ocean?

Karasuma then continued, "I'm afraid we can't go into the particulars, but what he told you was true"

No shit, I saw the greedy slice he took from the damn cheese in the sky.

"This creature who damaged the Moon, will also destroy the Earth next March"

"The world's leaders are the only other people who know about this, before the world is plunged into panic, they are exerting considerable effort to kill him behind the scenes"

Considerable force? The guy doesn't look that tough; he looks like he could be sliced into Takoyaki.

"In other words…" Karasuma then swung his blade that he had stealthily taken from his jacket towards the Alien-Octopus, I blinked, and then he was to the right instead of the left of the knife.

"An assassination"

I blinked again, and suddenly the knife and the Octopus were in different locations again.

"Hazama," I asked her as I rubbed my forehead, "please tell me I'm just dreaming through algebra"

"Sorry, I pinched myself already"

"At any rate, this guy is fast!" Karasuma explained as he fruitlessly sliced through the air to catch him, "far from killing him, I'm having my eyebrows trimmed by him!"

He was right, every split second that passed; his eyebrows were slightly less bushy than before.

Karasuma then put his weapon away and gave a deep sigh, "He is a super creature, possessing enough energy to transform a full Moon into a crescent, and his full speed is actually Mach 20"

Holy! With that speed, he could go around the world within the day!

How can we not dead from the air shift alone?

Karasuma adopted a grave expression, "In other words, if this guy was to seriously run away, we would be helpless till the day of our destruction"

Mm…

"Well, that wouldn't be any fun at all" The monster said as he closed a small case full of eyebrow trimming supplies, "Which is why I made a proposal to the nations of the world"

Oh god, don't tell me, Karasuma looking as if he was boiling with rage as the monster laid a tentacle hand on his shoulder.

"I don't want to be killed put…" who would? "If I become the homeroom teacher for the Kunugigaoka Junior high school, you're welcome to try"

That's it, I heard enough. I lay my head down and began counting sheep.

"We don't know his goal" I heard Karasuma say, damn, don't focus on that, fall asleep dammit!

"But the government reluctantly consented, our condition is that he cause absolutely no harm to you students"

56 sheep… 57 sheep…

"The reward for successful completion is 10 billion Yen"

Say heck what now?!

My head jerked a little and looked up, Karasuma was looking in my direction.

"It is an appropriate sum; after all, the assassinations success means the Earth's salvation"

Freaking hell, he did that to provoke me didn't he, well no thanks. No way am I going to shoot a bunch of guns so that I will get nothing, I'll just lay back down now…

"Unfortunately this guy is looking down on you. See" He points at the monster, "when the green stripes appear, its mocking face"

Talk about being read like an open book…

"It's only natural, there is no way all of you will be able to kill me when the government couldn't"

Okay, now he's just rubbing it in.

"When they attacked with a state of the art fighter jet, I gave it a mid-air waxing"

Is he a clean freak or something?

The other two agents then walked into the classroom (we didn't notice they left) with a rack full of knifes and guns, and two jars filled with thousands of black pellets.

"I would like you to strike if the opportunity presents itself" Karasuma said to us, "we will provide you all with bullets and knifes which are effective against him but harmless to you"

Well that's convenient.

"This must be kept a secret from you friends and family" No shit, what if my mom found out? "Anyway, time is short, if the Earth is destroyed, we will nowhere to run"

"That's the long and short of it" the smug Octopus said and he rubbed his tentacles together, "Now everyone, let's spend this final year in a meaningful fashion"

Great, you do that Class-E, and now, I will finally get that nap I was waiting for…

"Anderson-Kun, it's time for homeroom"

If I wasn't a calmer guy, I would have jumped out of my skin.

I turned my head back up at the grinning face of my new Sensei.

"If you ever hope to assassinate me, you would have to open your eyes" even if it was a mask or whatever hiding his face, I knew he was grinning like an idiot.

I gave an exhausted sigh; there goes my peaceful days of slumber.

Same shit, different day, school classroom… and teacher.

I wonder if I can get him to drink a glass full of those anti-sensei bullets…


	2. Chapter 1: The Laziest Assassin

**Chapter 1: The Laziest Assassin**

…

I have to say this; it is amazing what people get used to.

I looked at the pistol that I held in my hand, it felt more like a toy than an actual gun, yet again, considering the ammunition it uses…

If it were my choice, I would be napping through this entire scene; unfortunately, Hazama had pushed me to join in on this morning's roll call, if you can call it that.

I looked outside, and subtly noticed the slight breeze that had rolled through the trees.

What I wouldn't give to be under one of them, or better yet, one of them, they have such great lives, staying in the one place, only having to grow and rest in the sun.

I shifted my eyes to the opposite direction towards the Japanese styled door, just as slid open.

Then he walked in.

A weird teaching uniform, more tentacles than anyone should have, and an ever present smile that makes your own mouth twitch in pain.

Yet despite this, he is the single most dangerous creature in the world.

And a damn smug Takoyaki, to add my own opinion.

"We'll now start homeroom now" the 'teacher' speaks out to us, not at all bothered we had weaponry in our arms, or the tension was as thick as anything.

"Whoever is on day duty, issue your commands!"

If I remember right… that would be that Shiota.

I spied the blue haired guy (Japan of course) wince slightly, so I guess I was right…

Wait, is he a guy?

He seems to be a little too feminine to be one…

I suppose I could ask, but that would be a bit awkward…

Plus I can't really be bothered.

It's funny, the only people I really bothered to remember that names of were the people sitting next to me, because they were the ones to bother me most, one or two others really popped up quickly, and if they didn't, I would just give up and forget about trying.

But when this 'Assassin' gig started up, people have been actively trying to organise a way to kill the tentacle terror, not many went near me because they didn't think I would contribute much to anything, but now, names were passed around so much that I eventually caught onto a few.

"S-STAND!"

Oh great, here it comes.

I stood up as Shiota shouted, taking a look around, everyone, girl and boy, back of the class to the front, had got up and aimed various different weaponry at out yellow sensei.

If it were Sensei-Dick, I would be actually watching, maybe not really participating much but I'd love to see it happen.

But him, the damn Takoyaki, his grin just seem to stretch slightly, and I knew what he knew.

There was no way he would be dying this way.

"AT ATTENTION!"

I felt a kick to my shin; I looked in front of me to see Hazama looking over her shoulder.

"Don't even try to sit out this Anderson; we need all the bullets we can get"

Damn, why couldn't I be like that Engineer guy out of Team Fortress, just set things up and kick back while they do their job.

Regardless, I looked down my sight and aimed at the teacher… which would have been just as effective as aiming at the ceiling.

"BOOOOOOOWWWW!"

CHE!CHE!CHE!CHE!CHE!CHE!

I fired my first shot, then the second… then I just fired the third to fifth on either side the class and just dropped my arm.

Why? Because I would be having a snowball's chance in a hell situated in the sun of hitting him like he was now.

Our sensei, the tentacle bastard, was zipping around the end of them room.

To add insult to injury, the guy was leaving afterimages of him standing completely still and with the registration book out.

"Seeing as you're still firing, I will take attendance, Isogai-Kun"

Oh great, now he is actually taking homeroom while he's dodging a fire squad, I sat down and just lay my head to the desk and just tried to sneak in a nap, despite the noise going on.

"I'm sorry, but as we're in the midst of gunfire, could you speak up?"

This is coming from the octopus dodging it.

"Anderson-Kun"

Wow, I think I might have actually dozed off there, they are still shooting unfortunately.

"Here" I called out, not bothering to raise my head, and not shout at the top of my voice, if I'm lucky, he'll not look over here for the rest of the day, and Hazama won't realize I stopped shooting.

"No absences… how wonderful! Sensei is very pleased"

Oh yes, don't mind how we were trying to murder you just now.

"What a shame, there were no direct hits today either"

Stand still then you sea-reject.

"Tactics that rely on numbers lack individual thought. Your gaze, the direction of your guns, the movement of your fingers, each and every one of them is far too simplistic"

Ya-de-ya-de-yada.

"Also there can be cases of desertion, isn't that right Anderson-Kun?"

Silence… urrrrggg-

**BONIK!**

"_OW! SON-OF-A-FREAKING-_

"Despite that being in English Anderson-Kun, please watch what you say in class" said the all too cheery voice of the octopi-teach.

I looked up to see Hazama with a steaming fist.

"What. Did I say. To you?" she asked me slowly, a dangerous tone entering her voice.

I sighed deeply, "let's be honest, would it have made much a difference?"

She opened her mouth, and then closed it, before having a defeated impression.

"I guess you got me on that one" she said in a flat tone.

"Remember to devise a better plan" our sensei continued, "or else you will never be able to kill me with my maximum speed of Mach 20"

After this I stopped listening, it was a routine funny enough, every time someone plans to kill him, he dodges and lectures us in how to kill him properly, offering us tips or pointing out the flaws in our execution.

What I have to ask is, if he is trying to get us to kill him, why doesn't he just give us an Anti-Sensei axe and let us swing at him.

I then observed the weirdest superman I have ever seen; shoot his own arm off.

Narrowing my eyes, I looked him over; he didn't so much as twitch, as his arm fell to the ground, it was stupid, but before I knew it, his arm grew back again.

That can't be healthy, there has to be a drawback to that… does it exert him to grow them back? It's possible he needs to regain it through use of calories, which means a large chunk of his energy must be used up in a short time to do it, how about the time between losing and growing it, is it considered a disability…

I shook my head, trying to make sense of the Takoyaki was like, his powers were a mystery, his appearance was a mystery, his past is a mystery.

He is too mysterious for his own good.

I then took notice of our teacher getting green stripes, meaning he was smug.

He's a living mood-ring…

"Let's tidy up the gun barrels and bullets. Class-E is starting!"

I grumbled and proceeded to scoop up the few bullets that had managed to rebound back to the end of the class, before depositing it into the bucket being carried around by another student, and then put my gun into the box that they were passing around.

The pistol isn't much my style anyway; I only chose it because I didn't really care.

Once we had swept up, class had started.

"Anderson-Kun?"

Oh great, not again.

I looked to the front of the class.

"Can you answer this question here? Simply multiply out the two brackets and combine the like terms"

I then adopted my usual frown, every two to three days, the damn Takoyaki would single me out to answer a question, from my count I have been asked six more questions from the board than anyone else.

Looking over it, I saw it was a simple question.

"The equation goes from (-6+x) (8+x) to -6(8+x) + x(8+x), and then -48-6x+8x+x^2, and finally -48+2x+x^2"

"Correct, excellent work Anderson-kun"

I only cursed him under my breath, when I'm asked by another teacher, I can pretend to, or actually sleep and they would either pass over me, or give up trying to wake me.

However, this damn Takoyaki doesn't know when to leave well enough alone.

He put my hair into pigtails the last time I tried to ignore him.

Terasaka laughed about it for a while, well, that was before he got some eyeliner on him.

Hehe, only time the Takoyaki actually did something good.

Not that I would ever admit it.

Anyway, I took a glance from under my half drawn eyelids, and noticed some of the students looking at me.

Whatever question sensei would ask me, I would answer as I had no alternative, because of this, many people took notice in how surprisingly smart I was, not that he asked anything that hard, just simple algebra.

It gets on my nerves however.

**BANG!**

I stirred out of my thoughts to look at one my classmates, the orange hair girl, with a gun outstretched, no doubt having smuggled it, looking towards the obvious tentacle target, he had somehow managed to catch them in two pieces of chalk.

"Kakamura-San, I believe I told you assassinations must not interfere with your studies, as punishment, you will stand in the back and attend a class lecture"

"…sorry, you don't have to turn so red like that when you're angry…"

He isn't SUPPOSED to turn that red when he's angry, I think I see steam rising from his head.

Seriously, we are too used to this already, it's almost like that was a spit-ball instead of a loaded gun.

I looked at all the sorry saps, they didn't think this through clearly enough when we were given the job, and they didn't consider that the reward money for this is WAY less than the job was worth, at least for a group.

Sure, ten million yen can go a long way here, and if I were to get the right exchange period, I would get a colossal amount of pounds in my own country, but honestly, is it possible to kill this guy by on your own? Heck, I doubt the class as a whole would have much in the way of success, they just demonstrated it now.

And if by the small chance we do kill him as a group, the money would have to be split equally, ten billion between thirty would be three hundred and thirty three million roughly, a BIG downgrade from what's promised, and even if it's healthy pocket change, you can't expect to live off that amount for the rest of your life, unless you invest it properly.

Yet we still keep at it, I wonder sometimes if everyone else really doesn't know this fact or if they are just trying to ignore it.

… Who cares, it doesn't matter to me anyway.

I then heard the faint ring of a bell in the distance, great, it's nap time.

"It is lunchtime~" fuck you Takoyaki, "Sensei's going to China for a bite of Mapo Doufu to eat" Why can't you go to the supermarket like everyone else? "If there is anyone who would like to assassinate me, please call my cell" Sorry, every time I call it I seem to get a sushi restaurant, by the way, they want their ingredients back.

My inner banter was cut short as out sensei shot out the window, leaving a smoking windowsill.

…

Well, that should be at least a half hour of sleep, better get cracking.

"By the way, isn't he unexpectedly good at teaching?"

A nearby conversation started up, no; ignore it and fall asleep, it doesn't involve you.

"Anderson-Kun?" Urrrrrg, of course, the moment I think that, I find myself in a conversation that involves me.

Wait, Kun? I don't know anyone that well.

I looked up the see the same girl who tried to assassinate our sensei last period, if I remember right, her name was… Nakamura.

"Mind if I sit here?"

… I was contemplating whenever to say 'Yes I do mind', but I guess it doesn't matter either way.

"Sure… pull up a chair" I then closed my eyes and lay back down…

…

"So, you're a foreigner right?"

Yes, the universe hates me.

"I came from Scotland as a transfer student yes" I said, not raising my head from the desk.

"Oooooo, so what's it like living there?"

Why is she so interested? I looked up at her face…

Oh great, she's a foreigner fanatic, it's basically the opposite of a tourist, people who marvel at people from different countries coming here… more likely than not she is thinking someone like Brad Pitt or some other celebrity.

"… cold on most days, even in the summer months, more rain than snow in winter… it's not much but its home"

"Okay… how about food? Do you have any favourite dishes?"

Okay, that's now delving off the foreigner topic.

"Mmm… well, I wouldn't turn down a well-cooked haggis, but Italian is among my favourite pallet"

"Ahhh, Western food must be great, I would like to try some of the different food they make"

"Hn…" I uttered, I then glanced out the side of my eye… I saw Terasaka talking to Nagisa… that's an odd pair, plus he has his two of his thug mates.

They a short exchange and then they all walked out the classroom, mmm…

"Are you still asleep?" I cut my musings off to look at her, she didn't look really offended, more amused than anything.

"I wouldn't answer if that were the case" I replied back.

"Fufu, I guess your right" she smiled brightly; I gave one more glance at the door that my classmates left out of…

It doesn't involve me anyway...

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, Nakamura didn't leave my table until lunch was done, even when I tried to show as little interest in her questions, she persisted without even a small drop in her smile.<p>

She must have had nothing to do if she wanted to talk to me.

I sighed as I looked to the front of the class, our teacher having just come back from his trip to China, oh God that line sounds like something out of a manga.

Now it was Japanese, and our teacher was now telling us to write poetry.

Fair enough, but the subject itself…

"Please end it with Tentacles in the last seven symbols"

… I wonder if I can record that line and sue him for sexual harassment.

"I'll check it for proper grammar and to see if you were able to express tentacles in a beautiful way"

Yeah, screw killing him; I can get all the money I need by taking him to court.

…

Yet again… all that paperwork…

"Hey"

I looked forward to Hazama, who was looking at me curiously.

"Why was that Nakamura girl sitting with you?"

I tilted my head slightly, "She just wanted to ask some things, why?"

"Eh, not much" she then turned back to the front.

"Sensei, I've got a question"

I looked a little to the left at a head of green hair (Japan of course), as she raised her hand.

"What would that be, Kayano-San?"

"It's kind of late to be asking this, but what name should we use when talking about you?"

That answer is already solved, but I think she meant ones more PG rating…

"A name huh… I don't really call myself anything in particular. How about all of you come up with one, if you don't mind"

I was reminded of how the KGB were trained before they joined, taking a chicken, naming it and then taking care of it for three days.

After that, you had to kill it.

But I doubt the chicken had Mach 20 speed and regeneration surpassing a starfish.

He then turned a light shade of pink; his emotions were in such a blitz that I hardly even tried to guess which was for which emotion.

Then I saw someone stand up, it was Shiota, had he completed his poem already?

No… wait.

I glanced beside me; Terasaka had a large grin on his face as he looked towards Shiota.

Ohhhh, I see, another Assassination attempt, send the little guy in is an unexpected strategy, but the fact remained.

If we couldn't get the guy with bullets, what makes him think we can get him with knifes?

I could tell it would be a knife because it was the only thing he could hide on his body without it showing bulges, it was possibly in that folded piece of paper.

It seemed the tension in the air had doubled; everyone was now watching their blue haired classmate as he walked towards the front of the class, there goes the element of surprise.

Yet with a complete calm stance, the blue-nette still walked towards his target, I can get Terasaka being a little stupid in the regard, but doesn't Shiota at least know the fact he wouldn't be able to touch him?

Suddenly, once he was within close range, Shiota took out the knife and then swung it in an arc at our teacher, in any other case; it would have hit the mark perfectly, with the combined effect of surprise (whatever's left of it) and speed, it would have landed on mark.

But this was an alien Takoyaki who blew up the moon.

He caught Shiota's arm easily, that disappointed breath from everyone came out.

As if it was possible in the first place…

"I told you didn't I?"

And here it comes, another lecture in how to kill him properly, screw it, I'm falling asleep to this, it's all the same-

I blinked stupidly, why in the world was he hugging the guy, was he depressed or something…

Wait!

I snapped my neck to the side; Terasaka had a small remote of some kind, and that smile was still present.

He pressed it… and an explosion erupted.

Numerous BB pellets soared from the front of the class and rained down on some of the students of the rows, I had my eyes covered for a few seconds, and I opened my eyes and saw a smoking heap of black twisted shapes.

Wow… did they actually do it?

"Alright we did it!" Terasaka exploded as he ran to the front of the class, his other two friends joining him.

I actually got up and walked after them, I just to confirm what I was seeing.

Wow… that was really unexpected.

Smoking heap of our Takoyaki teacher, this is much more than I expected to happen.

"There's no way that guy could have expected a suicide bomber attack!" Terasaka shouted out in triumph, I looked at him with curiosity.

"What on Earth did you do?" the words slipped out my mouth before I realised it, I was surprised, I usually kept things to myself.

"Hm?" He looked at me; he seemed thrown off that I asked the question before he smiled again, "Just a toy hand grenade, I just gave it some gunpowder to give it an extra kick, to shoot over three hundred anti-sensei bullets at an insanely fast speed"

"Wha! What were you thinking!?" Kayano shouted from behind me, I guess she was talking about Shiota's condition, when I looked at him however, he didn't seem to have that many injuries… in fact, none at all. How is that possible?

I then noticed the cause, the skin, it was burned entirely… but there was only skin, no corpse.

As Terasaka was saying something about paying hospital bills, I felt a sudden chill, and I looked slowly around at the ceiling.

And the thing stuck to it started to speak.

"By the way, Sensei moults about once a month" his grin was still ever present, but both sets of teeth didn't seem to match each other, his skin was black and his face wrinkled ever itself, I could clearly see veins pulsing from under his skin.

He looked truly terrifying just now.

"I covered the explosion with my shed skin and stifled its power. In short, this is a secret skill that can only be used once a month"

I could tell he was angry, his voice was level, but his anger held no boundaries as it showed clearly on his face.

He was truly terrifying.

"**Terasaka, Yoshida, Muramatsu, so you are the ringleaders are you"**

Ever so slightly, I felt his voice take a slightly darker edge.

"Ehhh!? N-no!" he stuttered desperately, looking more than immensely scared.

No use in trying to cover it up man, he heard you say everything.

Then I blinked… he was gone, I stared stupidly at where had stood, and then at the doorway which was now open.

Soon enough, he burst back in with an arm-full of rectangular shapes, I few fell to the floor.

Each on was the name to everyone in the classroom, I read the Kanji twice to be sure.

Mine was there to, from the house I rented out no doubt.

"**Due to my agreement from the government" **He said as he stood there with his collection, **"I cannot inflict harm on any of you, but…"**

"**If you come to kill me next time with the same method as just now," **He then dropped several more of the plates he held on the ground, **"I don't know what will happen to anyone who isn't any of you"**

I narrowed my eyes at those implications, it was incredibly that line, and he confirmed it with his next words.

"**Your friends… your family… No, maybe I will exterminate everyone on Earth you isn't you"**

I gulped… for the first time since he came in, I hadn't realised exactly how dangerous this guy was.

The moon was just a thing, and his threat was in such a happy voice that I had dismissed it.

But this is the thing that obliterated over two thirds of a natural satellite, which is over fifty billion tons of rock gone in an instant.

He was truly terrifying, all these facts had surged in my head and I knew exactly why this thing was dangerous.

"Wha… what the hell are you…"

I looked at Terasaka, who was understandably, shivering in fear as he looked at the tentacle monster with even tears rolling from his eyes.

"You're a real pain in the ASS!" the sudden bravado surprised me as he continued.

"Coming here all of a sudden with your 'I'm going to blow up the Earth' and 'Assassinate me' and all that… What's wrong with using an irritating method to kill and irritating guy!?"

I slowly inclined my head towards the thing… that had turned a light orange with a circle shaded on his face.

The sudden absence of his frightening visage and voice let me feel a rush of relief.

"Irritating? Nonsense, your idea itself was excellent"

A complete and total…

"Are you goddamn bi-polar or something…" I muttered loudly, it didn't register much that I had spoken my comment out loud again.

"Especially Nagisa-Kun, you get a perfect score for keeping your body movement completely natural until the moment you closed in. You attacked me at a magnificent opportunity" he then proceeded to pat the head of the fore-mentioned boy like a puppy.

"However! Terasaka-Kun and the others held no regard for Nagisa-Kun's welfare, students like that do not have the right to kill me!" he then was glaring at Terasaka with a purple colouring, shadowed with an 'X' on his face now.

Weirdest line I had ever heard.

He then turned back to yellow and turned to the class as a whole.

"Let's have an assassination that will make us smile and puff up our chests with pride"

Whoever could do that has a twisted sense of humour and pride.

I then noticed my nameplate, being one of the many dropped on the floor, I picked it up.

"Each and every one of you can do that." He continued, "You are talented assassins with hidden strengths"

I took out a roll of double sided tape from my pockets I had left over from art.

"That is your advice from your sensei, a target"

This guy wanted an assassination huh?

I walked over to Nakamura's table, the said girl blinked up at me.

"Do you still have another smuggled pistol?" I asked in a semi disinterested voice.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Can I borrow it?"

"Um, sure?"

I took the pistol she had hidden in her desk and towards my desk.

"Now here's a problem Nagisa-Kun" our resident hentai scene said to his feminine student, "Sensei doesn't have even the slightest intention of being killed, because after enjoying my time with you till March, I'm going to blow up the Earth"

I then took out the nearly forgotten blade I had in my desk, having been given one and never got around to returning it.

"If you don't want that, then what will you all do?"

I put a strip of tape along the underside of my nameplate and pulled back my arm into my oversized sleeve, before putting the pistol into my hands grasp.

"Before that happens, we'll kill Sensei" I looked at the front where Shiota had finally spoken, I looked down myself and wondered what exactly I was doing, but then realised exactly what with what our teacher said next.

"In that case, try doing it right now, those who are able to kill me can go home for the day!"

Okay, I'll take that action.

As I walked down the lane, I couldn't help but yawn, I had the slip of paper for poetry still in my hand, as I walked towards this…

I'm running out of nicknames for this thing.

Takoyaki would get dull after a while.

I then heard some muttering from Kayano from the left of me, before she said,

"How about Korosensei?"

I shook it in my head a little, it wasn't all that bad, but a little inaccurate, after all, Korosenai means unkillable.

"Hey, Takoyaki-Sensei"

I felt all heads turn to me as I stood in front of his desk; his ever smiling face looked up from polishing his nameplates.

"That is not the name you should be going your teacher Anderson-Kun" He said to me without much anger.

"_I wonder what the parents will say when they hear that their children's teacher is having them write a poem on tentacles" _I stated curiously in English.

I swore, his eyes nearly bugged out from my statement, and looked at me.

"N-now, Anderson-Kun, don't have to be so hasty" I could tell that he was mildly panicked, so I then showed him my nameplate.

"You forgot this"

He looked at my nameplate and then stretched out his hand.

"Ah, thank you Anders-

But as he grasped the plate, I heard a sizzling sound which indicated he had touched the hidden knife at the bottom, not wasting a second; I gripped the gun in my right hand and swung it to face my 'Unkillable' teacher.

***BANG***

Sure enough… he had disappeared.

"Good to see you are taking my lessons seriously Anderson-Kun" I looked to the right, and he was standing there, his hand had melted a little, but quickly regenerated as I looked at it.

In response I turned my neck slightly to the right.

***Criik***

The crack of bones sounded out into the class and I looked him in the eyes.

"Not really, I just wanted to get to see if I could get a free day off" I then turned from him and back down the middle of the seats, I acknowledge that there were slightly awed looks in my direction, next to Terasaka, I was the only one to get a hit one him, however small.

I didn't really care; I just wanted to sleep this exhausting day away… but… I will admit this.

I looked back at 'Korosensei'

It was certainly interesting.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Next on the list was supposed to be SAO: TP, but I was getting delayed due to school and exam preparation, so I decided to write this up as quickly as I can because I could work on it easier.**

**The novel of SAO I usually read online had been abandoned, so it was taken off.**

**I hope you enjoy this segment, and btw, should I follow the Manga religiously? Or should I only write in piece by piece of it that would involve the whole class or are interesting enough for my character to get involved? Or while all the cannon stuff are happening in the background, I have my character interact with others in their own ways.**

**Until next time, this is HellKing, good night!**


	3. Chapter 2: Pitch Perfect

**Chapter 2: Pitch Perfect**

You know how you regret something you did on an impulse? And afterwards you look back on that moment and wonder why the hell you did it in the first place?

Yeah, I didn't really have many of them, but I find them more painful that way.

Everyone was still planning the Takoyaki's assassination, and every now and then, someone looks my way for direction, I recommend a fact here, a possible way distraction here, but I don't get involved that much.

It's just a large bother.

"That's called being popular you lazy bastard." Hazama told me as we were at break, I was currently commenting on the interrupted sleep that had been happening to me.

"Popular? It's more like being harassed," I muttered as I poked at the food in my bento, "It was bad enough when I lost time to sleep during class, now I'm losing it during break as well."

"So that's the reason you actually have lunch?"

"Yeah, I figured if I won't be able to get sleep that much, I might as well use it to eat." I put one of the tasty cocktail sausages in my mouth, mmm, juicy.

All of a sudden, I see a pair of chopsticks come out and nab the last one; my eyes flickered up quickly at the face of Kakamura.

With a piece of my sausage slipping into her mouth…

That didn't sound right.

"Mmm!" she uttered out loud, while grabbing a spare seat and sitting to the right of me, "That's pretty good, does it have seasoning of something? It tastes like some kind of herb"

"… I cooked it myself," I managed to get out, "Good morning Kakamura."

"Morning Anderson-Kun~" she smiled happily as she opened her own bento with a smile.

"Morning Hazama-san." she turned to the broody member of the class with a slightly less familiar smile.

"…hello" answered Hazama shortly, looking between me and her, she quirked an eyebrow, "So is this a regular thing or something?"

"Unfortunately…" I replied with a long suffering expression.

"So you really made this lunch by yourself, it looks pretty nice." It was just a simple curry, it's not like I did that much with it.

I flicked away some invading chopsticks that were coming closer to my meal.

"You already had some." I deadpanned to her, showing I wasn't amused in the slightest.

Her cheeks puffed up slightly with a pout, "Mwah! That's so mean!"

"You're the one committing Grand Theft Cuisine." I replied back.

"Pffff! You're really funny when you try Anderson-Kun." with an amused smile, she then tucked into her own food.

What a glutton.

I turned back to my meal only to find a piece of it missing, the only culprit when I looked up was a silently chewing Hazama.

"…" We stared at each other.

"You're lovey dovey attitude was pissing me off, so I wanted a bit." that isn't my fault at all, and she was stealing my food, I don't see how that can 'lovey dovey'

"Ahhh~ so you found out?" and of course no misunderstandings can come from THAT.

"Please don't add fuel to the fire." I said to her in a clear voice, she simply flashed a grin, and went back to her meal.

"Other than that… that was seriously good." Hazama said as she swallowed my food, "it was a pretty unique taste as well, are you sure you made it yourself?"

"You have such faith in me, I'm touched." I didn't put a lick of sarcasm in my words, but I made sure she got the message.

"Hey, did you hear that Sugino-san is trying to assassinate Koro-Sensei right now?" I gave a long suffering look at Kakamura in return.

"News like that isn't exactly ground shattering," I commented as I dug into the rest of my meal, "ALL of us have tried to kill him remember?"

"No that's not what I mean" she says quickly, waving her hand side to side to emphasize her point, "I meant that he has a completely different way to do it other than shoot and stab, I saw it morning while he was talking to Nagisa-San."

"Well what is it then?" Hazama asks in curiosity.

"Well, you remember that he used to play baseball? Well he spent all night taking the Anti-Sensei bullets and embedding them into a baseball, and now plans pitch it at Koro-Sensei while he's relaxing right now."

My face drew into a frown, "I suppose I can see the merit in the idea, after all, unlike a gun, pitching a baseball can be relatively soundless, but we're talking about a speed demon squid who gave a free cleaning service to the advanced battle tanks that went after him over the Nevada dessert. If he gets killed by a baseball, it will cause a lot of soldiers to lose pride in their careers."

"How do you know something like that?" Hazama asks with a confused tilt of her head.

"Ah, my uncle Bert and me talk about things related to the guy over the phone, it's kind of a run down to everywhere he's been and everywhere people have tried to kill him."

Both girls eyes widened and Hazama answered "That… can be pretty useful information, haven't you thought to tell someone yet?"

"Sorry, but the only reason he visits different countries or obviously easily overpowering any weapons that come his way, I even got from him that a heat seeking missile was fired at him, yet all that happened was he took the thing, fixed it up and gave it right back the following day."

"You're joking." Kakamura stated, an amused grin on her face.

"I saw the freaking warhead myself, I don't kid."

"Hey, look over there." I obeyed her command, as she gave no room for refusal, and saw Sugino coming through the door, looking marginally depressed.

"Do you think he did it?" Kakamura asked, well I don't know, maybe the 'face of a winner' translates differently in Japan.

"Good day class~ it is time to start Maths period now"

"Something tells me no." I said, with a trace of irritable hush in my throat.

I predicted it… but I seriously wish he could have at least held him off a little longer…

* * *

><p>"So how about it? Do you think you've figured out a way to kill him?"<p>

"If we did, don't you think we would have celebration sake out by now?" I asked in turn, I didn't flinch in the slightest as he turned a glare to me.

"It's impossible Karasuma-san" "He's just too fast" the general classroom murmured agreements with each other.

"Do you know what he plans to do after school today? He's going to New York to watch a sports game, there's no way we can kill a guy who flies at Mach 20"

"And it's not like thirty odd teenagers are going to kill a Takoyaki that managed to dodge the united armies of the world…" I mutter to myself.

Karasuma, perhaps hearing my comment went on about how since we were closer twenty-four-seven, and could learn from him on a daily basis, we would have a better chance than all the competent military there was in the world.

Apparently, students as assassins are a more reliable source of reliability.

All I did was look out the windows as the minutes went by. My view was hardly beautiful, unkempt grass and weeds, dense trees blocking our view of the world, but it was better than mouldy woodwork, so it was the blind king for the moment.

I wondered briefly about how life had become such a set of convoluted events, how I was wrangled into becoming a hero for the world.

Oh yes, an octopus who destroyed the moon walked into my classroom, it sounds like the start of a bad joke.

I breathed in a little as I walked away from the Class-E shack, the stress of my long day getting to me.

And unfortunately, I had to complete a homework assignment until I can get any shut-eye, with the threat of that damn alien checking every half hour to make sure I made some progress, damn him and his twenty Mack speed…

Unbidden, I remember the failed attempt by Sugino, and purse my lip a little.

I didn't really take time to remember names, but I know people at least.

A Class-E baseball player that seems to love the sport and his life basically hinged around it, obvious considering he used something like a baseball for an improvised silent weapon, since he landed into Class-E, it is obvious that he lost his place on the regular squad, you can get by a lot in this school if your records were average and had a sports affinity.

But it looks like he neglected either his studies or both, maybe he wasn't good at them and eventually the downwards spiral hit him, and because of that, he was dropped from the squad.

I suppose it is depressing in a respect, but he didn't do himself any favours going down this path in the first place, relying on one thing for your future never works out right unless you balance other factors as well. He was just asking to get the short end of the stick.

... Yet again, I am not exactly the best perspective for lifetime commitments.

I turned my mind to me going back home, and how to finish the lousy assignment he is likely to have made time wasting in order to make me lose more sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>*DING*<strong>

There we go…

I took out the tray from my oven and placed it on the surface of the kitchen top.

Nice smell, good colour…

Hmm, lovely taste and rather raises ones spirits a little more.

"Ah~ rock buns if I'm not mistaken, are those a favourite of yours Daniel-

**BANG!**

"… Although Sensei encourages his students to actively assassinate, that isn't the best greeting for a visitor you know…"

"Visitor? More like a freaking heart attack." I snapped back, the mark in the wall I'd fix later; at least my cakes are safe…

"How did you get to keep your anti-Sensei gun anyway Anderson-Kun, aren't they stripped away after class?"

"Karasuma-San found out you were visiting my house, thought he would make an exception for me," I shrugged, "Maybe he was thinking you would get distracted by sweets of all things, I have no idea what goes through people's heads."

"Hmm, perhaps, Karasuma-San is quite dedicated in that respect."

"I suppose you have to be in order to keep up with an Alien-Monster-Takoyaki such as yourself."

"Ah! Anderson-Kun, your words wound me so…" I glared at the yellow mass as he was crying like a baby.

"Stop blubbering already, god, you're about to blow up the earth in a year, how are you THIS emotional?"

"Ah, it is actually my allergies, my nostrils you see-

"That is gross, and completely misleading." I cut him off and settle back into my chair, "Look, I'm doing your pointless homework already; you can do… whatever a yellow Squidward does and leave me to this."

I looked at the paper a second, an English essay of sorts, and wrote down the first answer and the second after that, but irritably look up again, "Okay, why are you still here?"

"Hmm, Sensei just wanted to ask a question actually, why are you speaking in Japanese?"

I looked into his… eyes, nostrils, whatever, and looked back at my work, "It is Japan isn't it? I don't see exactly the problem."

"No, I mean to me, I find it strange how a boy who is said not to put effort into anything keeps speaking it anyways despite the only person he is talking to knowing his native language."

I breathed in a sigh, and released, _"If you wanted to talk in English, you could have asked."_

"_Ah, so you just got into the habit abroad, I see…"_

I tapped my pencil against the table, _"Why do you still have that annoying smile on you then."_

"_Hmm, same situation, but why did you take classes in Japan then? If you were in fact such an unmotivated person, then how do you know Japanese fluently? And read Kanji at your age and a foreigner to boot? It is all a rather confusing contradiction; even now you are solving advanced questions easily."_

…

"_You make it a habit sticking your non-existent nose into other people's business?"_

"Only when they are my students, Anderson-Kun." He answers back with a certain smirk on his face, "It is a teacher's job to make sure they reach their potential."

I looked down at my sheet and think a little more, and finally write up the answer.

"There, it's done." I pushed the sheet forward on the table to him, "Might as well save the time giving it to you tomorrow."

He nodded slowly and looked through them, before a quick blur, and he handed it back, fully marked.

"The thing is Takoyaki… there is nothing I despise more, than my potential." I then stood up and took a bite of the juicy warm rock cakes, "Now excuse me, it's time to go to bed…"

"… It's eight in the evening…"

"Yeah, I am SO past my bedtime."

* * *

><p>I had this memory play through my head as I walked back up the mountain to my school, thankfully enough I managed to get some sleep in, but the damn Takoyaki set an alarm early for me, freaking hell, and I couldn't get back to sleep because the thing took a total of five minutes to break into pieces.<p>

So now I am early again… I made it a thing to come in as late as possible to get registered by the teacher, I even could skip a period and the last one wouldn't have minded, b=just another useless student skipping lessons.

But not that irritating thing, no, I had to come in and get in first period or he would zip out and take me to class, It happened once before.

Suffice to say, I am happy I fall asleep in clothes and not PJ's. Now THAT would have been embarrassing.

Up the mountain path, through the thorny bushes, up on top of that rock and-

Here we are at the shack.

I walked forward to it and hoped I could lounge in my chair for the rest of my wasted morning, Jesus Christ who gets in school thirty minutes early.

Me, the poor schmuck who had to get a teacher who will destroy the world and not to mention persistent, seriously, what kind of society is it that we hire universal terrorist as a role model teacher?

**THUD!**

I blinked and looked down, where a blue haired mop was in my view.

"Ah!" The mop pulled back to reveal a face, who looked up at me surprised, "Oh sorry Anderson-San, I wasn't looking where I was going."

The voice then reminded me of him, it wasn't since the Terasaka incident did I last focus on him, "Ah, Nagisa, you're here early."

"Ah… you're here pretty early as well…" As he voiced this he looked at me rather weird.

I don't blame him; I really went out of character with this incident.

"Circumstances beyond my control, your turn?"

"Well… I have to hand in an assignment for Sensei..." He scratched the back of his head embarrassed, "He is talking to Sugino right now in the field."

Not that I wanted to know…

Still, I wonder what inspiration he is giving to his students now, with an ideal amount of curiosity, I followed Nagisa as he turned the corner and something is wrong obviously when he called out in 'It's even worse than I thought!'

Before I knew it, I peeked around the wall as well to see…

…

…

I took out my phone, snapped a picture, and simply left.

I am sure he had some reason for doing that, maybe a deep and meaningful theory behind the completely crazy scene, but he did it the wrong time…

THIS would be payback for that alarm clock…

* * *

><p><strong>-The Next Day-<strong>

I looked over my piece of work happily, grinning widely in the empty classroom.

Yes, this was certainly something to appreciate.

I then walked back to my seat and waited for the rest of the Class-E students to trickle in, I got a nervous and incredulous stare from Nagisa who obviously linked me to the event, Kakmura just smiled at me, knowing I would be the only one to do this, Hazama likewise nodded in a way akin to respect.

Everyone else was either dumbstruck or trying hard not to laugh, it was all the more funny when Bert showed me a newspaper from America about what the Takoyaki did recently.

Then with a quick burst of air pressure, the teacher arrived with that face of his still smiling, "Good morning class~ I hope all are present, who is the roll call today?"

Nervously, one hand rose from the crowd, Kayano who looked the definition of the bearer of bad news despite her head only being visible to me.

"K-Koro-Sensei… you should probably… turn around…"

With a moment's pause, he turned to look at the blackboard, or right now, two large posters displaying pictures, with large bold print etched as titles.

The first, were the distinguishable tentacles of our teacher, coming out the ground to put a famous baseball player into a VERY misfortunate way, and makes the thoughts pretty clear with the print saying-

**The Terrorist who destroyed the Moon! Is interested in **_**feeling up **_**the men of Baseball today!**

The other was similar in pose, but instead it clearly shows our sensei on his back as he does the same thing to Sugino, and the print underneath-

**Also has an interest in the **_**young boys **_**that inspire in baseball today! How is that for a fetish!**

In Japanese of course, in three seconds after looking at this, the Takoyaki screamed out.

"Nononono! I, Sensei is not like that, I-" He quickly turned to the class, who avoided looking at him, his face, despite showing a smile still, was obviously panicking completely, "T-there is a really good reason, ah, NAGISA-KUN! Please explain it isn't like that!"

"Uh… it would be troublesome if I got involved… sorry Sensei! Good luck!"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

All I did was lounge back in my seat, the picture of relaxed, as I looked at the rapidly paling yellow face, finally a colour that made sense…

"I- Sensei will just take this down and continue with the lesson, yes, I'll just-

The moment he tried however, his hand tentacles dissolved upon contact, courtesy of the Anti-Sensei see-through material I managed to procure with a quick call to Karasuma who provided it within the day.

It was another two periods until order came, and the Takoyaki persuaded the awkward students to take down the posters due to his own inability, and another thirty after that to get something to scrape the posters off due to their being no glue removing chemicals in the building, when lessons finally started back up, I had gotten back my missed hours of sleep.

And a recording of the entire event, to watch again and again until the day I die.

It was good, to be me.


	4. Chapter 3: Bulbhead

**Chapter 3: Bulbhead**

There I sat... it was a tense situation.

My opponents were just as on edge as me, as we faced each other, the pressure upon the table was near unbearable.

I licked my dry lips as I observed my opponents, Nakamura's tongue peeked out and licked the side of her lips thoughtfully, Hazama simply stared on with her unblinking glare.

Nagisa... just sat there looking awkward, having a 'why am I here?' look.

"Umm... how do I know I have a winning hand again Anderson-Kun?" I sighed as Nakamura asked the question, for the fifth time.

"We have already been over this Nakamura-San, if you have no good cards, then the highest card you have is called a high card, if you have two of the same, its a pair... no in fact forget it." I flicked my cards to the middle of the pile, "it is the fifth time around and you ask the same question, do I have to get a cheat sheet for you to look at?"

"She actually remembers them perfectly, she just likes how many sentences you speak at once when explaining it." Hazama explained, her hand turned and showed her cards, "I think I would have won this hand anyway."

"A straight? How come you keep getting the good hands?"

"Dunno, maybe I'm blessed."

"Um... why am I here again?" Nagisa added... and I knew that was what he was thinking.

"We needed a fourth player."

"I don't see why three players would be a problem..."

"I only have chips that can be cut for an even number of players." I explained, "Nakamura-San wanted to join once I asked Hazama to pass the time, and you were the only person I really knew... and Terasaka sucks at poker."

"You took all my money the last time we played!" He shouted from the other end of the field.

"Hey, you ran out of chips, I distinctly remember YOU putting your wallet on the table."

"YOU SAID THAT I SUCKED AT THE GAME SO MUCH THAT VACUUMS COULD TAKE ME AS A ROLE MODEL! I COULDN'T BACK OUT THEN!"

"Well... I bought you lunch afterwards."

"With MY WALLET!"

I turned to Nagisa, "So whats yours?"

"Uh... just a three of a kind, Hazama must have won again..."

"Yeah Hazama-San, you are really good at this." Nakamura said, and placed her cards in front of her.

...

W-what!?

I slammed my hands on the floor and glared at her hand.

"A ROYAL FLUSH!?"

"Ah? So it's a good hand?"

"That hand shouldn't even be POSSIBLE!"

"Wow... to have Anderson-Kun raise is voice is so exciting~" She grinned happily and I sagged back onto the ground.

"It's like I'm playing with that damn Karma all over again..."

"Oh yeah... you were friends with Karma-Kun weren't you?" Nagisa asked my, I just shrugged.

"If you mean that he found an amount of pleasure bothering me any chance he had, then yes, we were what you called 'friends'" I snorted I laid back, stretching, "The guy is a menace to say the least, really troublesome..."

"Meaning that he is alright and likely is missing him." Hazama drones as she puts all the cards back into the deck.

"Why is it that ever time I insult someone you say otherwise?"

"Because you say troublesome, if you were seriously disliking the guy, then you would just attach a demeaning nickname and not elaborate any further."

...

"You know, it's creepy how well you know me."

"Believe me, I regret getting to know you so well."

"Awwwww, Nagisa-Kun, look at how close they are!"

"That's a strange kind of close..."

"KOROSENSEI!"

"Let us have some shaved ice too!"

I looked over the field and sighed, "Oh great, here we go again."

"What Anderson-San?" Nagisa looked at where I pointed.

"Another knife attack, again I don't see the point in these efforts."

"Why?"

"Because it is a KNIFE, a bullet is unlikely to hit the Takoyaki, so how is a knife going to help?"

"Well, ambushes and stealth attacks are usually an acceptable type of usage, I mean, they are doing that right now aren't-

In a flash, the Takoyaki disappeared as they drew their daggers and lunged forward, I laid on my back without having to look at the result.

"Again, I reiterate, a knife is UNLIKELY to ever leave a mark on that monster, if he gets killed by one, I will be SORELY disappointed. Especially in such a flimsy attempt in doing do."

"I suppose you have a point..."

"Wait a second sensei! Aren't these the flowers that the class has been growing!"

"Nyuaah!? They ARE?!"

I looked back up at the scene, and saw our teacher shocked as he looked at the flowers now in his students hands.

"That's horrible Korosensei... even when we put so much care into them, and they finally bloomed..."

"I-I'm very sorry! I'll go plant some new ones now!" He disappeared, and appeared again, "I went and bought them!"

I slapped a hand on my head as the girl students bullied him into planting the new bulbs, "Seriously, THIS is the monster that destroyed the moon? Anybody but me feeling disappointed?"

"Hmm..." I looked over at Nagisa, who was writing in a notebook.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought I'd write down his weaknesses, so that we might get a hint on how to assassinate him."

I peeked at the writing, and it read,

**Korosensei's Weaknesses**

**When he tries to act cool, his weaknesses show.**

...

...

"That is... technically a weakness, but I wouldn't call it one to help assassinate." I commented, Nagisa gave a nervous kind of look on his face, showing that he kind of agreed.

Kayano-San nodded in agrrement next to...

HOLY!

I whipped my head... slowly, to look at her... because I wouldn't be worked over this... at all.

"When... did you get here?"

"Ah, I like hanging out with Nagisa-kun every now and then, you kind of stole him away."

...

...

"You make it sound like I'm taking your boyfriend from having time around you." I said bluntly, her face flushed immediately.

"EHHHHH!? B-boyfriend?! Nagisa, I mean I... I what?!" Nagisa was likewise blushing furiously, I exchanged a look with Nakamura.

Teasing material, found.

* * *

><p>Hah... so peaceful...<p>

After the game of poker I settled on the roof of the building, it was one of the few places I could relax now-a-days without anyone bothering me.

Ever since that Takoyaki has has made an impression into the class, things have been changing, ever so subtly, in a good way, but also troublesome.

Groups were made to talk over assassination, practice shooting and knife fighting, the theme of assassination has left its mark rather well in this class.

Still... I needed some quiet...

I breathed a deep breath, and exhaled.

This is nice... so silent, peace and serene-

"THERE, STAB HIM!"

... Why do I tempt fate?

"GET HIM!"

Seriously, all I ask is for you to ignore my inner thoughts for a little longer, what is so wrong with that?

**THUMP!**

The roof shook a little, and I reached into my pocket.

"HAH! You guys can't follow me up HERE! Our basic characteristics are too different! STUPID!"

**BANGBANGBANG!**

"EEEEEEHH!?" Korosensei swerved suddenly to avoid all of my shots into his back, I merely growled.

"A... Anderson-Kun, this is a very frightful time to show initiative.

"It was a really frightful time for you to bother the only time I have to relax in the day." I answered back.

"... Starting tomorrow, there will be twice as much homework."

...

"... That is REALLY petty."

* * *

><p><strong>AN Sorry for the short chapter, prelims are coming up and I need to focus, so I made a quick chapter to bride up a few events storywise, just a little filler and all.**

**I'll try and pop out more chapters for my stories in the future.**


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